Readers, there are some things in life that we shouldn't take for granted. Amongst which include the walk in the park. The walk in the park can be a genuinely uplifting experience for many reasons. For most it's the thrill of being outdoors in the middle of nature, companionship with animal or human. or even the opportunity to take it slow for a while.For me, it's the opportunity to spend quality time with my son in the playground and runaround madly for an hour so with out fear of being looked at like a strange person. As well as that, we also take lots of photographs and meet squirrels. But, the other day I had the weirdest photograph ever on my camera. Well, there are probably weirder photos in my collection, but recently this is the weird one. For what ever reason, somebody decided to hang their kids cuddly toy from a very tall tree. Very nice, that's the best thing to do for your kid. Hang their kids toy and for what reason? Well, I can't fathom it. Maybe a freak wind storm blew it there in the night. Whatever the reason, I got a very good photograph. I think it's a Teletubby hanging there, but the way that the height and distance of the tree combined with the hazy light made it somehow Twin Peaks-esque and just plain bizarre.
And why not? Have toy, will hang it! Obviously that's what the perpetrator of this crime thought...
Le Monsieur
As with most things, it stared with a thought. The now cliched light bulb flashed above my noggin and suddenly I was illuminated. So, I logged into my Blogger account, clicked on the the button marked 'Create a Blog', and attempted to get the following URL:godisablogger.blogspot.com/You're probably thinking that I've lost my mind, aren't you? I wouldn't blame you, to be honest. Such URL's are generally the property of heretics with natural skull caps and toe nails as yellow as the sun. But, worry ye not faithful readers. For, if it is the case that I am insane, my sanity has long been in question. I am in no doubt that I am not *normal* in a normal sense. See, there are somethings that man, or indeed, a person, has to do in order to make life a more enjoyable experience. And, just as some people crave to have in their possession that special bag or license plate, I wanted that URL desperately. Readers, i actually craved to possess a URL. Think about that fact for a second. Isn't it cool?!Why, you ask yourself, would I want such a URL so desperately, ravenously even. the answer, my friends, is not because it's blowing in the blogosphere, but because it's a cool name for a blog. And, in the blog world, a name matters a lot. Just like a designer name, or even a brand. And, call me mad, but god is a blogger is bound to be an attention grabber. And,whilst I'll unfortunately never know how much of grabber it is, as it wasn't available, I can still bask in it's glory. because. there is definite coolness about that name. You could argue that it was a little big headed of me to actually consider wanting it that much in the first place. To that opinion I say this: Maybe it is but does that make it bad? We all want something, after all. Be it money, sex, power or even a URL. But just because we get it doesn't make us totally happy. Unfortunately, I didn't. What's next on my list?
Mnsr Seba.
Never having been one to boast, but as days off go, this has been a pretty good one!
You know how you can hear it raining when you wake up and it just instantly makes one of those pre-emotive onomatopoeic moments? Well, it was one of them for me. My son, for once waking up after me, remained the same juice demanding, Dora watching tyrant he always is at nine am, but I felt somehow unable to wake up at all, and had a nuclear bomb strength coffee to edge my existence into more clearer territory than it previously had been.
Now that I could see clearly out of one eye, I considered myself in a fit enough state to look in the mirror, not something I do often actually for some reason, and check that my face is still there. What with the spate of burglaries recently, you never know what will go missing. One of these days, I'll learn to lose my Scouseland paranoia , seemingly a genetic imprint from every Liverpool jibe you hear as a child. It's not just non-Liverpudlians who hide their items in Liverpool, it's the Liverpool people too. Out of good sense and a general feeling of wanting to remain personally intact when I return from a day out.
It shouldn't be an issue, after all this is not a Russian back street "medical centre" where you go in a for a health check and leave minus several vital organs. My neighborhood is blessed with so many blue rinse persons and rusting lamp posts that this is the last place anyone would want to steal body parts. My coffee did help rid those thoughts from my head and I eventually enjoyed a lovely day in the park with my son, jumping in very muddy puddles, eating cinnamon rolls, and being generally very childish.
Point being? Well, just that life is god when it seems so mundane and bizarre. I thoroughly recommend everyone to do absolutely everything of a random, fun nature with their kids on a Sunday.
Fun.
Mnsr Seba
I was recently asked by a colleague who, between Gordon Ramsey and Marco Pierre White, I would have sexual relations with. I bet you weren't expecting that were you?
Well, shall we say that were I that way inclined, i.e. not straight, (Although no-one is a hundred percent straight if you've seen some of the things I've seen!), and both Marco and Gordon were also by extreme coincidence gay, I'd have to say that the person on the end of my punishment stick would be Gordon Ramsey. Why? Well, how can I put this? Shall we say that whilst Marco-Pierre does look like the type who could go through an entire brothel without stopping for a rest, (He could certainly afford it!), I think the fact he looks as if the word "shower" and "get the fuck in" have never been uttered towards him in his how ever many years of existence. Maybe he has the rough and ready look for televisual purposes, but based on this I'd much prefer that "fucking" Gordon Ramsey. Having set foot into one of his restaurants, (literally a foot, then I decided to go someplace else instead, but for good reasons...), I can definitely feel the love he's trying to pass on. Marco Pierre's love love lovin' may be a little more obvious, but the way he leers over Page Three stars may just get me a little mad.
Plus, since people seem to talk about food in pornographic terms these days, I'm gonna do it too! Seriously, there does seem to be a fine line between restaurant reviewing and verbal porn. Marco Pierre Whites maniacal stares and kitchen cloth bandanna style tie back seem totally harking back to the days when porn was about ugly men doing beautiful girls. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who thinks that the lovely Marco resembles a (retired) porn star who's turned to cooking to give the love. Although saying that a table won't get their food because he doesn't like them is a bit like the traditional headache at bed time that women (and men) apparently fake. Thank god he said that, because him on top of me, or besides me vertically either, come to think of it, is not something that's on my Christmas wish list! (I'll have a meal though, if he wants to serve me!)
Bear in mind here, that I am actually a male, and am straight. The person who asked me was a girl. (She said she's do Marco, by the way! Blindfold at the ready...) To be honest, gay or straight, chefs, especially of the celebrity kind, are not the best to my mind anyway. (Apart from Gordon Ramsey...) Now I ask you, dear readers, given the chance and the correct sexual alignment, who would you invite to your sleeping domain?
It's still my beautiful partner, by the way. Although Gordon was good for this post only...wink wink!
Mnsr Seba
